Affirmation

So apparently I have a problem with the word affirmation. It's not really a problem per se, I apparently just say it a lot. When I was in undergrad, friends joked on me b/c they said I used it a lot. I was always "affirming" people. Then when I got to Carolina, the trend continued and I got nicknamed "The Affirmer" by some of my students.

Now I work with a completely different set of students, but they too have picked up on my frequent use of the word affirm and they now try to find new and unique ways of affirming each other (in my presence)

Lately I've been trying to figure out when and where I picked up this habit, b/c it has not been such a big part of my life for all of my life. I think it happened when I was sitting in one of my psych classes in undergrad. I had this teacher, Dr. Gary A. Taylor who was constantly reminding us that we were not special. Actually the only people we were special to was maybe God, Barney, and our mommas. Everytime he said this (and he said it a lot, atleast 3 times in every class I had with him, and I had 7 classes with him) it pissed me off! On some level I guess I have to acknowledge he is right, we're all equal, therefore no one is more valued or special than anyone else...but when you think about that, it just sucks! And it used to make me mad. So to make up for the fact that he said people weren't special, I decided to make it my personal mission to make as many people as possible feel special in some kind of way. Because I am okay with saying that we are all special in some kind of way, b/c we're all unique in some kind of way.

I have also realized that I have issues with being affirmed. I'm good at affirming, but I'm really bad at accepting affirmation. My supervisor in CPE was constantly reminding me of this fact. He'd try to give me a compliment or say I was doing a good job, and I'd brush it off or make some excuse.

I don't think I'm alone in this, I think most of us have a hard time acknowledging affirmation, even though we desperately want it from other people. We want people to say we're doing a good job, or we matter, or that what we're doing counts for something. I guess for me the problem is I dont want to come across as cocky, so it's easier to take the humble route out and dodge the comments. ( Philippians 2, right?!) But I'm realizing that the problem with this is that once you've dodged the comments so many times, people stop saying them! Which sucks, b/c then you work even harder to receive affirmation, that never comes, because you've sabotaged it!

whew, and that's exhausting! So Affirm Each Other! As often as you can! It makes people feel good! It's also a good way to change your attitude towards people that generally you don't like very much! When I affirm people I don't like for doing something, it forces me to see them in a different light, to see them as an equal, to affirm their giftedness by God and then a relationship is possible!!


Oh apparently other words/phrases I say a lot are " ecumenical, stand in solidarity, and called to be ambassadors of reconciliation- thank you duke. Is there anything else I say a lot?

What are phrases people call you out on for saying all the time? I know AJ Walton has a list of them!